Tag Archives: Boredom

Sleep deprived

01 Sunday Sep 2013

Posted by in Complaint Department, Daily Drivel, Evil Wizard, Rants, Taterbug

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I have no idea why sleep is eluding me, but summer has for as long as I can remember given me occasional problems with insomnia. Some nights it takes me until around 2 in the morning to finally fall asleep, and then when Thor wakes up around 5 for a bottle, it still might take me an hour or more once he settles in again to go back to sleep a second time. Most mornings I wake up for good sometime around 10 unless I have somewhere I need to be that I need to be up earlier for.

Even in the daytime naps often just don’t happen. I’ll be exhausted, and barely able to keep my eyes open, but by the time I talk the hubby into watching the baby for awhile and go lay down, I either won’t be able to fall asleep because it’s too hot in here, or I only sleep for a few minutes, and then I am awake again and still laying there exhausted while my brain goes in circles trying to nod off again. Eventually I give up and just get back out of bed…

Body exhausted, mind wide awake….the story of my life as of late.

Writer’s block

15 Wednesday May 2013

Posted by in Boredom, Creative Writing, Daily Drivel, Escape From Reality, My Writing, NaNoWriMo, Random Tangents, Random Thoughts, Technical Difficulties, Writing

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Yes this has been me as of late, well, minus the viking helmet. As much of a plan as I may have for one story or another, the words and sometimes the motivation seems to evaporate before I get it written down on paper.

When did writing become so hard? I remember a time when I was young and it used to be so easy. I used to have a million ideas, and I would wake up in the middle of the night and write all sorts of things that couldn’t wait until morning. I guess I have no idea where my enthusiasm went, probably drowned out by my now adult life, and my seemingly never ending ungodly stress level.

Sometimes I worry my writing won’t be good enough. No one close to me ever seems to want to read it anymore, not that they ever read it to begin with. I’ve had a printed copy of my second novel sitting here on the book shelf and year and a half now, and even my hubby hasn’t given it so much as a second glance.

Several years ago my friend Penny would have been standing next to my printer with her hands out waiting for the next chapter. She died from cancer a few years ago, and finishing a project since then is so much harder, especially without my one person fan club, and her encouragement. That’s one of only a very long list of things I still miss about her, and always will.

Penny didn’t just passively read what I had written, but loved to give me her input, encouraging things she believed would make what I had written even better. I think all of us need that sometimes. We need to hear not only what needs fixing, and what we can do to make improvements, but also what is good and going right. In other words, this is what works, and these are the things that would make it even better.

Sometimes I get so caught up in believing it all has to be perfect the first time, that it completely stops my momentum. I get discouraged believing no one will ever want to read it, no matter how much love and hard work I put into telling the story. I ask myself what I do it all for.

The answer is, it’s because I have to…

If the story doesn’t get told, it is wasted. What good are all the infinite worlds inside your head, if you are the only one that ever journeys into them? I keep trying to remind myself of these things, and keep edging forward, even if baby steps. I don’t want to believe I have an irretrievable imagination. Even if the old ideas won’t return, or seem childish now through older eyes, I hope I haven’t ceased to invent new ideas, new universes, and those that reside in them.

I don’t think my mind would be happy at all, limited to just one world.

Let it snow…

25 Friday Jan 2013

Posted by in Boredom, Daily Drivel, Evil Wizard, Fun Stuff, Random Thoughts, Taterbug

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The snow really is coming down out there today, so today Thor and I have been at home, hanging out on the sofa and trying to stay warm.

The last couple of days were a different story, with appointments, and being out on this ungodly cold we have had here the last few days. We bundled him up good, and tried not to stay out in the weather any longer than we had to between stops. I was still really glad to get home, and spend the rest of the evening snuggled under the comforter I keep on the sofa.

They’re calling for several inches of snow here by morning, but I don’t plan to go too much of anywhere, so that’s just fine with me. Thor seems to be really hungry today, a lot more hungry than he usually would be. I wonder if this means that he is about to hit yet another growth spurt soon. It may be a good thing that I am putting back clothes for him at least a size ahead, he surely doesn’t seem to stay in one size for very long at all. The sleepers that we bought him at Christmas that were so big are now fitting, and some of them are already a little small.

On other good news, John said we may be able to get the new sewing machine this weekend. Baby allowing, maybe I will be able to start making some things within the next couple of weeks. I think that would be really fun to do again, even if it’s been a long time since I’ve sewn anything. I used to do it quite a bit when my older kids were younger. I never made anything really fancy, just play clothes for them, and little costume pieces, like the cowboy vest I made for my older son when he was only about six or seven years old.

Someday I would love to get good enough at sewing to make some nicer things, but nothing like that comes without practice, and the only way to do it is to get moving on it. Sure I will have to wait awhile to be able to get out to get some supplies, but that is doable. We don’t have the big box stores near where I live, and I don’t really like shopping at them anyway if I have any other options. Maybe if I look into things I will find a smaller mom and pop type sewing store that is easier to get to. I really hope so, I really don’t like shopping at chain stores any more often than I have to.

Who knows, maybe having something to do for the rest of winter at home will break up some of the monotony around here, and give me something to do on days like today when the weather is not so nice out. Having something constructive to do usually does do a lot to lighten my mood.

Sleepy kind of day

20 Sunday Jan 2013

Posted by in Boredom, Daily Drivel, Evil Wizard, Taterbug

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It’s been a sleepy kind of day around here. Not much has gone on, but a lot of snuggling with a little one on the sofa and watching videos.

The day began ambitiously enough. We had planned a trip to the library, and the grocery store, but in the end we decided to just spend the day in. John did the shopping later on in the evening after we managed to get the baby down for a good nap, and he did sleep most of the time he was gone.

The trick to getting Thor down for a nap is literally for me to sit and hold him the entire time he sleeps. Nothing will wake him up faster than trying to lay him down to sleep in his bassinet. This has always been the case with most babies I have known, all you have to do to make them wide awake is try to tuck them in to bed.

I’ve been thinking some more about things I would like to be doing, especially once Thor gets old enough where letting him play in the playpen for awhile won’t be such an issue. I have often thought of taking up sewing again, or maybe learning to knit. Both are things I could do here around the house, and maybe if I got to be any good, maybe make a little bit of money at eventually.

What I would really like to be able to do eventually is go back to school, at least a class or two at a time. As much as I like being here at home to watch the baby grow up, being a stay at home wife and mom doesn’t keep my brain very busy. I would like to learn some new things, and meet some new people, and school would at least get me out of the house and around others for a few hours a week.

I do keep meaning to make friends here, but between being rather shy and a bit socially awkward, and the fact that I really haven’t been here long, I don’t know where to begin. We do have one good friend here who lives about half an hour away, but we don’t get to hang out much, as he is usually rather busy. It’s hard to know where to begin looking to get to know people. It doesn’t seem as easy nowadays as it once was. Most people seem to keep to themselves for the most part, not just here but everywhere. I’ll admit, we are much the same. John and I are both homebodies, but we aren’t unfriendly.

Maybe I write so much of whats going on in my mind here, cause outside of the hubby I’m a bit lacking for adult conversation. I miss familiar places and having friends to hang around and do nothing with, even if I haven’t had that in a really long time. Don’t get me wrong, John is really good company, but just as he has things of his own to do, I need things of my own to do as well.

The question is…what?

Morning comes way too early

19 Saturday Jan 2013

Posted by in Boredom, Complaint Department, Daily Drivel, Evil Wizard, Random Thoughts, Taterbug

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Morning comes way too early some days, and this was one of them. I had the alarm set for 6:30, but I think I woke up about 5 to check on the baby and never did get back to sleep after that. I usually wouldn’t get up that early, but an 8:30 doctors appointment was all that was available without waiting a couple of weeks, so I took it.

I almost didn’t make it there on time, because the cab didn’t show up until over a half hour after I’d asked to be picked up. I’ll remember to schedule one for even earlier next time if I have to take one in the early morning again just in case. The boys were still snoozing good when I left, but were awake by the time I got home.

Even with a nap after I got home I am still feeling tired, and a bit headachy from the early morning. I’ll be happy when it’s time for our eye doctors appointment in a couple of weeks and I can finally get some new glasses. I don’t think these glasses are doing very well anymore since the baby was born, and I’m having some issues with eye strain. Then again, I hate having to finally admit that I do need the glasses all the time now. I can’t read a thing without them anymore.

John says they are calling for several days of snow coming up, but I’m not too worried about it until we have to go out in it Monday and Wednesday. Well really I can stay home and skip Monday if I really wanted to, seeing as that appointment is for John, but I would go along for moral support if he wanted me to. Besides I like going up to Bellevue and walking around looking at things in the shops up there, even if I really don’t have the money to be doing much shopping.

For the moment Thor is contentedly playing in his pack and play. He loves to just lay in there and wiggle and kick at times while he looks at the pooh bear toys that are on the toy bar above him. He chews on his fingers, and sometimes tries to stuff his whole fist in his mouth. Maybe that means that he will be cutting teeth soon. He seems to be doing everything else a little early, so I don’t see why he shouldn’t get some teeth a bit sooner than usual too.

As for me, baby allowing, I am going to take a nice hot shower and try to call it an early night tonight after I get done with a few things I still need to do. If I hadn’t already committed to doing something online with friends this evening, I think I would be in bed already snoring.

Tomorrow I am sleeping in…well…if the baby lets me.

Hello from the sofa

13 Sunday Jan 2013

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What else is there to do on a boring winter evening but sit on the sofa with the hubby watching dvds? John and I are both big fans of British comedy, and we have recently begun watching our way through a few boxed sets we happened across, or got as gifts over the holidays.

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The series we are presently watching is One Foot In The Grave. I used to watch this series long ago with my dad, after he would come home from work late at night on PBS. The main character Victor Meldrew always reminded me a bit of my grandpa with his ornery sense of humor, though grandpa didn’t have anywhere near his hypochondriac tendencies thankfully.

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Another favorite Britcom of ours is Vicar Of Dibley. Hubby first showed me a few episodes of this series several months ago, and I instantly fell in love with it. It really is one of the funniest shows I have ever seen. I surprised him with the complete boxed set of the series as his Christmas present, because it was one thing that I knew for sure he would love and didn’t already own. (he’s not the easiest person on earth to shop for usually)

Yes I know most people would ask why we bother to buy the dvds when there is so much available for streaming online nowadays. I guess good tv series are like good music, if you like something enough, you really should invest in making shows a permanent part of your collection.

We don’t have cable television due to the monthly cost, but do get hours of enjoyment watching the shows and movies we have collected over time, and those we check out from the local library. In a way I have come to like not having cable, as only having discs to watch will give us a little more control over the sort of shows our son will be seeing growing up. (at least while he is at home)

We already have amassed quite a collection of good children’s movies and intend to expand it by the time he gets old enough to really pay attention to tv. John and I aren’t all anti-tv, but neither of us are really big fans of most of what is being passed off as children’s programming lately. We’ll be pretty careful what we let him watch, at least for quite awhile to come. Besides, a good hour or so watching shows on the sofa is ok, but we want him to know it is far better to play and to read than to spend all his time being a couch potato glued to a television screen.

Or a computer monitor…hello pot…meet kettle…

Can we talk?

12 Saturday Jan 2013

Posted by in Boredom, Daily Drivel, Evil Wizard, Random Thoughts, Taterbug

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I really really hate having a cold. I’m trying so hard not to get the baby sick, but it’s going to be difficult to take care of him and not pass this cold along. It seems this is the second time I’ve taken him to the doctor for a checkup and drug a cold home with me. It doesn’t seem to matter how careful I am not to sit too close to people, or to wash my hands when we get home, I still seem to always pick up some sort of bug while we are there. Ah the joys of parenthood.

Sometimes I think I would blog more if I thought much interesting happened. Now that it’s winter and we don’t get out much, not much of anything does happen everyday. My son is still so little that life seems to get lost in a blur of bottles, diaper changes and snuggling a baby that never seems to want to be put down. If John weren’t helping out with this “I must be held” stage I would be pulling my hair out.

Most days I feel like I don’t accomplish much of anything now. I take care of my son, and I may get a bit of cleaning done. I spend way too much time online, mostly reading, because there isn’t much else to do right now. Thor is still far too small to take him much of anywhere. With the coldest part of winter still to come around here, I doubt we will be going much of anywhere until it warms up this spring. It wouldn’t be so bad if we could afford a car, and trips outside didn’t involve pushing a stroller through the snow, which isn’t an easy feat considering the hilly terrain around here. Then again after Christmas is over, the rest of winter usually does blow monkey cheese.

Sometimes I wonder how John and I will make it through this winter without driving each other absolutely crazy. Money is so tight right now we are really limited on doing much of anything other couples might take for granted. We have no cable tv, have only been out to a movie once since we’ve been together, and going out to eat is a rare treat for the moment, unless he grabs sandwiches to go and brings them home for us to eat. (even that may happen only a couple of times a month right now) Spending over a hundred dollars a month at the laundromat is killing us, but everyone knows that babies go through some serious clothes.

For now there is more housework to be done, and I am being paged to come and help with it. John looks like he is fixing to curl up in the chair and go to sleep from boredom if I don’t get up to come and help him soon. I’d better get moving before he gets sucked into the universe of angry birds and nothing else gets accomplished today…

Sleepy New Year

01 Tuesday Jan 2013

Posted by in Boredom, Evil Wizard, Holiday Thoughts, Random Thoughts, Taterbug

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As I sit here writing I am the only one in the house awake. Hubby went back to sleep once I got up with the baby, and now Thor has gone down for a nap in his baby swing. I guess I am enjoying the peace and quiet, and taking the opportunity to relax, read, and drink some chocolate milk with breakfast. (yes I know this isn’t gonna make losing that post-baby weight any easier)

I wish I could say I’m tired because of some exciting new years eve reveling, but that would be a lie. I missed the stroke of midnight last night because I wasn’t even paying attention to the time. I didn’t notice the hour had passed until I heard fireworks outside. Where was I in the minutes leading up to midnight? In the shower. I guess I climbed out and made it to the living room after toweling off just in time to give the hubby a kiss. He was too busy watching youtube to notice it was getting close to midnight either. I guess we really are a pair.

I was going to make new years dinner for everyone here like my great-aunt used to do for us when I was a kid, but our friend’s daughter came down with the flu, and we sadly don’t have the crock pot, so I may be back to square one on what to make today. But darn it all, it’s new years and I want my sauerkraut.

As far as new years resolutions go, I haven’t made any, and presently don’t plan to. I think most of us would be better off making a list of small obtainable goals we would like to work toward, not making a once a year promise to ourselves that is way out of reach. Change things because you want to, not because you feel you have to join millions of others in declaring for the world to see a compulsory list of unreasonable expectations.

My goals for the moment are to be a good wife and mom, and to take a walk every day so I can stay healthy. I don’t think that sounds all that unreasonable. Sure there are other things I could be doing, but I’m no longer heaping things on myself that I would have to wait on others to help me accomplish. Doing so it setting yourself up for disappointment. You can only control the things you do have control of.

Do what you enjoy, try to find the humor in everything. Being able to laugh at even the rough stuff is what is going to keep you sane. That’s been much the case the last couple of years. No, optimism has never been my strong suit, and each new year is going to have its good days and its bad days.

The train has now left the station, laugh, smile, and enjoy the ride the best you can.

Template Overload

08 Wednesday Dec 2010

Posted by in Utter Randomness

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It’s great that there are so many themes to choose from here, of all kinds and colors. Making a decision took ten times longer than making the blog itself. I know each and everyone one of us wants to have the blog suit us. With so many choices it was a hard decision, and finally I went with something simple. The most difficult thing of all, was that I wish there had been some way to sort through the themes according to color and the number of columns, instead of just having to flip back and forth between thirty plus pages one at time. Other than that everything seems wonderful, and whoever did all of this has amassed an amazing variety of options. This looks like it is going to be an awesome site.