Monthly Archives: February 2013

New day, new theme and color tv

27 Wednesday Feb 2013

Posted by in Boredom, Daily Drivel, Evil Wizard, Fun Stuff, Taterbug

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Welcome to my new and hopefully improved blog. Yes it is hard letting go of the tye dye, but this one is so much easier on my poor eyes when it comes to reading. I’m sure I am not the only one who finds the white backgrounds on most of the blog templates to be downright blinding sometimes.

I’ve always had very light sensitive eyes, and am not  a fan of really brightly sunny days because of it. I have to keep dark sunglasses on just to function when there isn’t enough cloud cover. Bright snowy winter days are the worst, and snow blindness isn’t fun.

So now you all know the main reason for the switch, not to mention, I really think this new theme looks nifty 🙂

The family and I had a long day out today up to Bellevue. We visited the eye doctor to see what is up wonky with my new glasses, and I have to go back tomorrow to have them rechecked. We visited the library book sale and picked up some new books, which is always enjoyable. All the rain we had today did put a little bit of a damper on it, but fortunately the bonnet on Thor’s stroller kept him nice and dry.

John and I are both firm believers in keeping lots of books around, and our son will never have a shortage of things to read. We probably have a few thousand books in this apartment already, and we are slowly building up a children’s book collection with him in mind. More books and little or no tv for him is definitely our plan when it comes to raising him.

Hopefully it will work out well that way. I’ve seen far too many kids who spend way too much time with the electronic babysitter for my comfort. It’s not to say I am against letting kids watch tv at all, but I do believe in letting them watch it in limited amounts. I am also a firm believer that their tv viewing should be limited to shows with educational value or other redeeming qualities. Most kids shows nowadays seem to be materialistic utter nonsense.

There isn’t even much my husband and I find worth watching anymore, outside of maybe Mythbusters and some good documentaries and britcoms on PBS. We no longer even keep cable, and just buy seasons of shows we like on itunes, or stream them online. About the only thing we miss about cable is Food Network, and we subscribe to the magazine so that’s almost just as good, and far easier to refer back to without having to set a DVR. (which I would have no clue how to do anyway, but that is another story for another day…)

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Four Months Old

24 Sunday Feb 2013

Posted by in Taterbug

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It seems like only yesterday he arrived sometimes, but most days it feels like he’s been here forever. All I know is I fall more and more in love with this stinker every single day. I am blessed more than words can say to have him.

Thor is fifteen pounds and twenty-seven inches tall already. It amazes me how fast he grows and changes. He already looks almost nothing like his newborn pictures. It’s amazing just how fast he’s turned into his own little person, with so much personality, and a smile and laugh that could light up anything.

Now if only I could get him to smile for the camera…

7,000 Views

23 Saturday Feb 2013

Posted by in Daily Drivel

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*Cues Fanfare*

I finally passed 7,000 views at some point during the night. WOW. I’ve been here at wordpress since early 2006. (blog posts older than that are copied from a previous blog on another blogging site, that as far as I know no longer exists)

You’d never know it by the look of things here but there were probably hundreds of blog posts I lost along the way when my original self-hosted wordpress blog went poof. Yes I was still too new to wordpress at the time to know that I could do backups. It was something I needed to learn the hard way.

Those of you who have been here awhile may agree with me. Make your export file backups frequently!

Moving on…

Packages

22 Friday Feb 2013

Posted by in Boredom, Daily Drivel, Fun Stuff, Random Tangents, Taterbug

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We seem to have gotten a lot of packages in the mail today that were waiting for us at our PO box. We rarely if ever have anything shipped directly to the house, mostly because we don’t want things walking off of our porch if we aren’t home when the mail arrives to get them right away. Ah the joys of living in the big city.

One of these packages was actually for me for a change, it contained a very much needed lightweight jacket. I have been lacking one since fall, since mine somehow vanished in the process of being prepped for the c-section back in October. This means I now have a jacket and a really hippieish looking multicolored sweater that I can wear now when its chilly out, but not cold. Yay!

Thor’s box of new stuff is always the biggest of the boxes. Today he got a new set of baby dishes with Pooh Bear on them, a cookie jar that looks like our beloved cat Poly, and last but not least, he got a new book!

One of the first things I did after opening the box was sit down to read the book, and it is a wonderfully adorable story about a kitty who loves his peace and quiet, almost as much as he loves his human. I can see this easily becoming a storytime favorite of ours. The story is simple enough for a little one to understand, but still a book even a small child learning to read on their own would love I think.

Thor turns four months old in a couple of days, and everyone knows what that means right? Cereal! I am gonna have to get pictures of this when it happens, but I still wanna double check with the doctor that it’s ok to start him on it first. That should be fun…

What I thought I wanted to be

21 Thursday Feb 2013

Posted by in Boredom, Daily Drivel, Evil Wizard, In Hindsight, Random Thoughts, Writing

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I make myself sound like such an old fart when I talk about the past, even though I’ve barely cracked middle age. A lot of things in this world have surely changed, and it seems they are changing more and faster every day. I don’t know when the things of this world got as “disposable” as people nowadays seem to believe that they are. Life didn’t seem to be like that in another time that I remember. Maybe that’s just another thing that’s changed.

I can remember being a small kid, and now I look back on everything I always thought I wanted to be, and what seemed to be important then. I don’t ever remember a time when I didn’t want to grow up and be a mom. I used to dream of being a famous singer, or a famous writer. I guess I still do dream of the singer and writer part, but sadly anymore you have a snowballs chance of getting to sing unless you are a size 0, barely outta high school and have the “look” the record execs are looking for.

When did I kinda give up on my dreams? Maybe it was as I got a little older and teachers and other people told me that only the most beautiful and the best deserved to do those things. I don’t know why I let them make me feel so unworthy, but I did, and to this day I still struggle with it. Maybe it was when my mom told me that if I couldn’t make a living at it, it wasn’t worth doing and I would be an idiot for trying. Dreaming was going to get me nowhere in life. That stung, those words still hurt.

Today I only sing with the radio, and as many awards and compliments as I’ve ever gotten for my singing, I’m still so self-conscious that my husband has heard me sing only once in the almost two years we’ve been together. As much as I dream of singing, I know no band out there wants a 40 something slightly overweight soccer mom at the mic. Maybe I have to accept that dream is one who’s time has passed.

Writing is something I still dabble with, but I’ve somewhat almost given up on as well. I’ve written 3 complete novels and several partial ones now, but no one seems to want to read anything I’ve written. My mom still believes it’s a waste of time, and my husband only seems to beat around the bush and come up with reasons not to when I ask him. It almost feels pointless sometimes to write all these things if no one will ever read them. Why do I keep doing it? Maybe because I have to. Maybe getting everything down on “paper” is the only way I know to let out everything I can’t say otherwise.

Maybe what I thought I wanted to be is still who I want to be after all.

The sky is falling

17 Sunday Feb 2013

Posted by in Boredom, Daily Drivel, Evil Wizard, Random Tangents, Taterbug

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It’s been an interesting last few days in the news. There’s nothing like rocks raining down from the sky to remind you of just how not in control of the universe you are. People being sick around here hasn’t done much for my sense of control or my confidence in things going remotely according to plan either.

John’s illness went from a bad cold to pneumonia, which thankfully he’s already finished the medicine for, and he seems to be improving even if slowly. The baby now has a cold, but so far seems to be doing ok. I am hoping I am not going to come down with this, and maybe this is just them catching the cold I had a couple of weeks ago. I am not holding my breath on this though. I really really don’t want another cold when I just got rid of the other.

Having to be the one doing all the shopping and errands is wearing me out badly. Thankfully the baby seems to be in fairly good spirits even with his cold, so that makes things easier than they could be otherwise. I would like to sit down and eat something resembling a full meal, or at least one that consists of more than a glass of milk, or a few bites of hummus or cottage cheese. I have no idea why, but the thought of green beans with butter and salt sounds so completely lovely right now. I must be delusional.

On the other hand…I could really use a fried egg sandwich with grape jelly too. Who’s bringing the waffles?

Under the weather

12 Tuesday Feb 2013

Posted by in Complaint Department, Daily Drivel, Evil Wizard, Rants, Taterbug, Technical Difficulties

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I haven’t written much these last few days because the hubby has been down sick. At first we thought he just had a bad cold, but after a week of being sick already, he suddenly began running a fever after not having one before. After a trip to the hospital Sunday morning he was diagnosed with pneumonia. The only good news is the doctor thinks he most likely isn’t contagious. With a baby in the house this is excellent news.

Thor has of course been quite clingy and grumpy through all of this. I know he probably knows something has been wrong with his daddy even if he isn’t old enough to understand what it is. After two days of antibiotics John is already doing much better, and hopefully he will be over it soon. I just hope no one else comes down sick.

It’s definitely been hard being the one having to do all the running around here. I had to do all the errands yesterday, and the grocery shopping. It normally wouldn’t be much of an issue if you owned a vehicle, but we don’t. The grocery store is just over a quarter mile away, and while the walk down there isn’t bad, the way home from there is all up a very big hill. The climb up isn’t bad empty handed, but with a few bags of groceries it’s exhausting. I know when I have done it in the past I have to stop every block just to catch my breath and rest.

I’m sitting here enjoying a moment of quiet while the baby is in the swing and entertained for the time being. I feel exhausted. I don’t sleep well by myself, and John has been camped out the last several nights on the sofa because its easier for him to sleep sitting all propped up. Hopefully if the baby allows I will be able to catch a nap later. I am not holding my breath.

Worry

10 Sunday Feb 2013

Posted by in Boredom, Chipmunk, Evil Wizard, Taterbug, Winnifrog

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Worrying has always been a big issue for me. It gets better or worse depending on my present situation, and my frame of mind that day. My level of anxiety can also affect how optimistic I am at any given moment.

I worry over many different things. One of the things I worry over the most is money. Will John and I have enough money to keep a roof over our heads, and get our son the things that he needs? Will I be able to afford all the things we are going to need down the road? Will we ever be able to live in a home of our own without a roommate?

I also worry about my kids frequently. Is My daughter Whitney doing alight there in Ohio on her own? Where is Alexa, and will I ever get to see her again? Is Thor healthy and growing like he should? I will admit I worry every time I put him down to sleep at night. I must wake up half a dozen times some nights to check on him. I say the same prayer for him every night, sometimes several times a night, even if I don’t pray much about anything else anymore.

Sometimes I worry about staying healthy, and being around for my kids down the road. My older two kids are adults, but one is still a teen, and my youngest son is still just a small baby. I hope to live long enough to see him grow up. It know that is a worry because I am so much older now than before.

I worry about my husband and his health problems. What will happen if he loses what little is left of his hearing? What if his vision gets worse? What happens if he spends another two years unemployed, and he’s turned down for disability all over again? I can’t keep us afloat financially alone forever. I know he’s trying his best, and none of this is his fault.

I should be doing things to make the situation better. I have novels that need to be edited and rewritten, but it’s hard to want to work on it all when I’m this stressed out. Stress isn’t exactly conducive to creativity, at least not where I am concerned. It’s hard to concentrate, when all I can think about is how worried I am about it all.

I wish I knew how not to worry, or at least how to not let it get the better of me. Some days I just want to sit and cry about it all, other days I’m grumpy, and sometimes both at once. It would help if I knew that eventually it would all be alright, but I don’t. No one can promise me that, so the worry remains, it never goes away.

Blind as a bat?

09 Saturday Feb 2013

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We had a very long day out in the on and off rain today. As anyone who knows anything about me already knows, I am not a morning person. Our day began this morning a little after 6 when Thor woke up and wanted fed. By the time I got that accomplished, there was really no point in trying to go back to bed when the alarm was going to go off at 7 anyway.

John and I both had eye doctor appointments a bit after 9 this morning, but 9 turned into almost noon by the time we got out of there. It wasn’t easy keeping Thor entertained for over an hour while John was in the back getting his own exam done. He doesn’t appear to be finished however has the doctor wants some other tests done at a later date. His eyes are far worse than mine, so this is not surprising. I guess I shouldn’t complain too much when I only really need a fairly light prescription comparably. (even if I can’t read printed pages without them at all anymore)

From there on it was taking John to the doctor, while I was upstairs picking my new frames out. Good news is all he seems to have going is a nasty cold, and she doesn’t think its anything worse. From there on it was just a matter of getting prescriptions filled, and finding John some lunch so he could take his medicine. Sadly as much as I would like to be able to eat at most of the restaurants up there in Bellevue I can’t, due to a nasty food allergy to a food that a lot of restaurants around here seem to love serving.

Thor was really good most of the day, and didn’t start fussing much until right before we were getting ready to catch the bus home. He seemed really interested in looking around at everything and everyone, at the doctor’s office, and the eyeglass store, and even started laughing when I put him on the counter at the bank to put him in his snowsuit for the bus ride home. This is more luck than we usually have with him while away from home, he normally fusses every moment that the stroller isn’t moving.

It was nice getting out today, even if neither one of us was feeling well,(for entirely different reasons) I’ve been stressing out over things maybe a little too much the last few days. I wish I could blame it entirely on hormones, but I’m not sure it works that way. Sometimes you just have to love having an anxiety disorder. I do better on some days than others, and while I’m nowhere near panic mode, my stress level isn’t always the easiest thing to deal with.