Tag Archives: winter

It’s *bleeping* cold outside!

08 Wednesday Jan 2014

Posted by in Complaint Department, Rants

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This is the second day here with below 0 temperatures. Needless to say we haven’t left the house. (except for when John took the trash out to the curb, just in case by some miracle they do decide to collect it in the morning) It is a little boring here with not much to do but the internet, and frustrating dealing with a stir crazy baby who very badly wants his daily bye bye, and doesn’t understand why he can’t have it.

I’m also frustrated with not being able to work on my novel. It isn’t a matter of lacking ideas this time, but more just not having quiet time to work on it before I’m too exhausted at night to think clearly. My computer unfortunately sits in the middle of the living room in front of the fireplace mantel, the only place in the whole apartment there was room to put it. It’s good that I have a desk, and a computer, but it makes it extremely difficult to work without distraction when I am stuck out here right in the middle of it all.

Before I would always write when my daughter was in school, and my desk was usually set up in my bedroom, or off in a quiet room away from the main room. I don’t work well with noise or with people moving around nearby, and especially don’t work well with people peering over my shoulder.

I miss having a laptop to work on, at least then I’d have the possibility of going in my room and shutting the door for awhile, even if trying to work from bed hurts my back something awful after awhile. Then again, I know what would happen. I’d get settled in, and finally be making progress, and BAM…they’d just follow me in there.

Sometimes I wonder how I am going to hold on until spring. Our search for a new apartment is still going dismally. Even applying anywhere is expensive, and we recently lost $120 in application fees only to be turned down yet again, even with my mother in law willing to co-sign.

Staying positive is really hard right now. It’s especially hard when you can’t even get something basic like an affordable place for your family to live. I worry about even the rent here going up to more than we can afford even with the roommate. My nerves are wound so tight I’m barely sleeping sometimes, and when I do I’m getting a lot of nightmares. I haven’t been able to eat properly in months now for a lot of the same reasons.

I wish I had a way of knowing that it would all be alright, but I don’t. I’m doing what I can but no one is going to beat a path to our door to help us. It’s no wonder that so many disabled people end up on the streets. If you are under 62 years old, there is no help with housing available, period, end of story. If the waiting list for help isn’t closed, it is over 10 years long.

It’s hard to write here without complaining, mainly because this is the only place in the world I have to vent.

I can’t wave a magic wand and make myself well, or John not deaf anymore, so what hope is there of our situation getting better short of a miracle? I wish I knew, I really wish I knew.

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The sky is falling

17 Sunday Feb 2013

Posted by in Boredom, Daily Drivel, Evil Wizard, Random Tangents, Taterbug

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It’s been an interesting last few days in the news. There’s nothing like rocks raining down from the sky to remind you of just how not in control of the universe you are. People being sick around here hasn’t done much for my sense of control or my confidence in things going remotely according to plan either.

John’s illness went from a bad cold to pneumonia, which thankfully he’s already finished the medicine for, and he seems to be improving even if slowly. The baby now has a cold, but so far seems to be doing ok. I am hoping I am not going to come down with this, and maybe this is just them catching the cold I had a couple of weeks ago. I am not holding my breath on this though. I really really don’t want another cold when I just got rid of the other.

Having to be the one doing all the shopping and errands is wearing me out badly. Thankfully the baby seems to be in fairly good spirits even with his cold, so that makes things easier than they could be otherwise. I would like to sit down and eat something resembling a full meal, or at least one that consists of more than a glass of milk, or a few bites of hummus or cottage cheese. I have no idea why, but the thought of green beans with butter and salt sounds so completely lovely right now. I must be delusional.

On the other hand…I could really use a fried egg sandwich with grape jelly too. Who’s bringing the waffles?

Winter blues and my little sunshine

05 Tuesday Feb 2013

Posted by in Boredom, Daily Drivel, Evil Wizard, In Hindsight, Rants, Taterbug

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Cabin fever really gets to me. I have never been a fan of winter to begin with, at least not the cold part of winter that follows the holidays. I think I would be happiest if it would stay about 60-70 degrees out year round, sadly I don’t think a place like that exists, or I’d have already found a way to move there.

I know nowadays not many people know the joys of standing around at a cold bus stop, or trying to push a stroller through the snow, but that’s what it takes to get anywhere around here. This town is also very hilly, and sometimes I worry about a runaway stroller like in the old black and white movies if I don’t hang on tight enough.

I’ve heard stories about how winters used to be. I remember some pretty wild winters back when I was a kid, with blizzards with snow drifts as high as the second story. I remember seeing our white German shepherd jump off the porch to go potty, and my dad having a devil of a time finding her to dig her out of where the snow had swallowed her.

I remember the first year my oldest daughter and I moved back into the little cottage and that blizzard hit. We were quite literally snowed into our single story house, and seeing as someone had stolen my shovel, I had to dig us out with a koolaid pitcher, and trudge through hip deep snow to the neighbors house to borrow one.

Why are hard times so much harder to get over in the winter? Is it because we are stuck inside most of the time, and it’s so much harder to get out and take a simple walk to clear your mind? People stay close to home, and it’s hard to make friends, or find anyone to talk to.

It would be nice to find something to do here, and places to go. It would be nice to have friends I could talk to somewhere every day other than on a computer screen. It’s hard to start over somewhere where you don’t know anyone, when making new friends has never been your strong suit to begin with.

I do spend plenty of time with my little tye-dyed ball of sunshine, but I know John and I both could really use more adults to talk to than each other. I really long for the days when saying hi to someone got you more than a suspicious glare. It didn’t used to be like this. Sometimes I still wish the world hadn’t changed so much.

Let it snow…

25 Friday Jan 2013

Posted by in Boredom, Daily Drivel, Evil Wizard, Fun Stuff, Random Thoughts, Taterbug

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The snow really is coming down out there today, so today Thor and I have been at home, hanging out on the sofa and trying to stay warm.

The last couple of days were a different story, with appointments, and being out on this ungodly cold we have had here the last few days. We bundled him up good, and tried not to stay out in the weather any longer than we had to between stops. I was still really glad to get home, and spend the rest of the evening snuggled under the comforter I keep on the sofa.

They’re calling for several inches of snow here by morning, but I don’t plan to go too much of anywhere, so that’s just fine with me. Thor seems to be really hungry today, a lot more hungry than he usually would be. I wonder if this means that he is about to hit yet another growth spurt soon. It may be a good thing that I am putting back clothes for him at least a size ahead, he surely doesn’t seem to stay in one size for very long at all. The sleepers that we bought him at Christmas that were so big are now fitting, and some of them are already a little small.

On other good news, John said we may be able to get the new sewing machine this weekend. Baby allowing, maybe I will be able to start making some things within the next couple of weeks. I think that would be really fun to do again, even if it’s been a long time since I’ve sewn anything. I used to do it quite a bit when my older kids were younger. I never made anything really fancy, just play clothes for them, and little costume pieces, like the cowboy vest I made for my older son when he was only about six or seven years old.

Someday I would love to get good enough at sewing to make some nicer things, but nothing like that comes without practice, and the only way to do it is to get moving on it. Sure I will have to wait awhile to be able to get out to get some supplies, but that is doable. We don’t have the big box stores near where I live, and I don’t really like shopping at them anyway if I have any other options. Maybe if I look into things I will find a smaller mom and pop type sewing store that is easier to get to. I really hope so, I really don’t like shopping at chain stores any more often than I have to.

Who knows, maybe having something to do for the rest of winter at home will break up some of the monotony around here, and give me something to do on days like today when the weather is not so nice out. Having something constructive to do usually does do a lot to lighten my mood.

Sleepy kind of day

20 Sunday Jan 2013

Posted by in Boredom, Daily Drivel, Evil Wizard, Taterbug

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It’s been a sleepy kind of day around here. Not much has gone on, but a lot of snuggling with a little one on the sofa and watching videos.

The day began ambitiously enough. We had planned a trip to the library, and the grocery store, but in the end we decided to just spend the day in. John did the shopping later on in the evening after we managed to get the baby down for a good nap, and he did sleep most of the time he was gone.

The trick to getting Thor down for a nap is literally for me to sit and hold him the entire time he sleeps. Nothing will wake him up faster than trying to lay him down to sleep in his bassinet. This has always been the case with most babies I have known, all you have to do to make them wide awake is try to tuck them in to bed.

I’ve been thinking some more about things I would like to be doing, especially once Thor gets old enough where letting him play in the playpen for awhile won’t be such an issue. I have often thought of taking up sewing again, or maybe learning to knit. Both are things I could do here around the house, and maybe if I got to be any good, maybe make a little bit of money at eventually.

What I would really like to be able to do eventually is go back to school, at least a class or two at a time. As much as I like being here at home to watch the baby grow up, being a stay at home wife and mom doesn’t keep my brain very busy. I would like to learn some new things, and meet some new people, and school would at least get me out of the house and around others for a few hours a week.

I do keep meaning to make friends here, but between being rather shy and a bit socially awkward, and the fact that I really haven’t been here long, I don’t know where to begin. We do have one good friend here who lives about half an hour away, but we don’t get to hang out much, as he is usually rather busy. It’s hard to know where to begin looking to get to know people. It doesn’t seem as easy nowadays as it once was. Most people seem to keep to themselves for the most part, not just here but everywhere. I’ll admit, we are much the same. John and I are both homebodies, but we aren’t unfriendly.

Maybe I write so much of whats going on in my mind here, cause outside of the hubby I’m a bit lacking for adult conversation. I miss familiar places and having friends to hang around and do nothing with, even if I haven’t had that in a really long time. Don’t get me wrong, John is really good company, but just as he has things of his own to do, I need things of my own to do as well.

The question is…what?

Can we talk?

12 Saturday Jan 2013

Posted by in Boredom, Daily Drivel, Evil Wizard, Random Thoughts, Taterbug

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I really really hate having a cold. I’m trying so hard not to get the baby sick, but it’s going to be difficult to take care of him and not pass this cold along. It seems this is the second time I’ve taken him to the doctor for a checkup and drug a cold home with me. It doesn’t seem to matter how careful I am not to sit too close to people, or to wash my hands when we get home, I still seem to always pick up some sort of bug while we are there. Ah the joys of parenthood.

Sometimes I think I would blog more if I thought much interesting happened. Now that it’s winter and we don’t get out much, not much of anything does happen everyday. My son is still so little that life seems to get lost in a blur of bottles, diaper changes and snuggling a baby that never seems to want to be put down. If John weren’t helping out with this “I must be held” stage I would be pulling my hair out.

Most days I feel like I don’t accomplish much of anything now. I take care of my son, and I may get a bit of cleaning done. I spend way too much time online, mostly reading, because there isn’t much else to do right now. Thor is still far too small to take him much of anywhere. With the coldest part of winter still to come around here, I doubt we will be going much of anywhere until it warms up this spring. It wouldn’t be so bad if we could afford a car, and trips outside didn’t involve pushing a stroller through the snow, which isn’t an easy feat considering the hilly terrain around here. Then again after Christmas is over, the rest of winter usually does blow monkey cheese.

Sometimes I wonder how John and I will make it through this winter without driving each other absolutely crazy. Money is so tight right now we are really limited on doing much of anything other couples might take for granted. We have no cable tv, have only been out to a movie once since we’ve been together, and going out to eat is a rare treat for the moment, unless he grabs sandwiches to go and brings them home for us to eat. (even that may happen only a couple of times a month right now) Spending over a hundred dollars a month at the laundromat is killing us, but everyone knows that babies go through some serious clothes.

For now there is more housework to be done, and I am being paged to come and help with it. John looks like he is fixing to curl up in the chair and go to sleep from boredom if I don’t get up to come and help him soon. I’d better get moving before he gets sucked into the universe of angry birds and nothing else gets accomplished today…