How can love be one of your greatest strengths, and one of your worst weaknesses all at the same time? I am speaking of love in the double edged sense, that brings as much pain and sadness as it does happiness. What you thought that you wished for, only brings emptiness and more unanswered questions when it’s gone again.
I don’t know how he still manages to get to me, and why I cannot turn him away even when I should. I don’t know why I still care and still love him, when seeing him only shatters my heart to a thousand pieces all over again. Even after all this time, I suppose I miss things as they used to be, in a time before relationships, and all the drama that came with them, when he was my best friend, and we would talk and laugh for hours, and tell each other everything. Life got in the way, it wasn’t all his fault, any more than it was mine.
I have some regrets for things that have happened as of late, things that cannot be undone, things that must just be accepted for what they now are. I can only blame my heart again, a heart that wants so badly to show him a love I know deep inside that he will never be able to truly return. I can only let him go as far as he chooses to leave, hoping that one day he will finally let me slip away into distant memory, as much as I know it will break my heart again to see it happen. Until he lets go of the heartstrings I am bound by, each time he pulls me back close again, it just reopens all those wounds, that I hoped, and someday hope again will finally heal.
Be careful what you wish for…