It always seemed growing up that grandpa was too ornery and stubborn to die…

I remember the grandpa who was strong as an ox. He loved to work on antique cars, talk on his CB radio, and always seemed to have time to work in the garden, or do repairs on the house. He was funny, kind and had rambunctious sense of humor, but knew well the time for comedy, and when the moment had come to be serious. He kept us in line, and there was never any questioning where he stood, or what he expected of you.

He’d been sick on and off for a long time, but each time before he seemed to have risen to the challenge. Grandpa was a fighter, who overcame both cancer and heart problems on countless occasions. Even while his health grew weaker, his strong personality never faltered. He was still as ornery, cantankerous and quick to laugh as he ever was.

Above all else, grandpa was determined to stay in his own home, and deal with his illness on his own terms. Thankfully with grandma at his side he got his wish. He passed away peacefully the morning of New Years Day at home, right where he wanted to be.

It all still just doesn’t seem real somehow. I am still half expecting to get there and see him sitting in his chair eating his favorite candy. If he saw me crying he’d be telling jokes and teasing me, just to get me to laugh again. That’s just who he was, so quick to laugh, and he wouldn’t want me to remember him with tears.

I’m trying grandpa, I’m really trying…