Last night and this morning I have been doing some thinking. It mostly started with looking at a friend’s posts on a message forum that I used to belong to. The site used to deal mostly with psychic predictions, and paranormal subjects when I first started going there. I met a lot of really nice people who like me were something slightly other than “normal.”
The problem is over time, the place became less and less a positive place to be. More people came in that weren’t so discerning in what they posted and the site became as much about paranoia and conspiracy theory as actual useable content. It wasn’t long before you needed a good mind and a serious set up hip waders to find anything useful for sifting through all the crap.
It’s hard to go there now without being hit with an overwhelming feeling of negativity, not just because the clique there basically tossed me out for not following the crowd. I’ve noticed since I got away from the place, started living my life, and being positive instead of listening to all the negative thoughts everyone seemed to be putting into that place, I have been a lot saner and a lot happier. Negative thoughts and negative people really can poison us.
I have been making a lot more of an attempt lately to keep my thoughts positive. It does take conscious effort for me at times, because it’s so easy to fall back into dwelling on the past and only seeing the negative. I’ve found as I’ve stepped away and grown happier I’ve drawn new friends and new experiences to me that I never would have otherwise, including a man I love very much. I’m finally beginning to like being who I am now…I want to be happy.