I think men have a genetic thing against shopping. It doesn't matter where you go, my father believes it is a total waste of time to browse for anything. The minute you walk in, he expects you to go straight in, get what he thinks you need and leave directly for the checkout counter.

     I got tired of sitting here in the dark, so finally yesterday morning I decided to go to Big Lots shopping for lamps. Dad did walk around the funiature portion, where most of the lamps are located, telling me how he thought anything over $15 for a lamp was totally rediculous. The only lamp I would dream of putting into my house for under this price was a lamp, with a base that had statues of deer. It isn't as tacky as it probably sounds. We are now calling it a bambi lamp and putting it in my daughter's bedroom.

     On to finding my lamp…

     We looked around the rest of the store for something that was either A: not gaudy, B: not too light and cheaply made, or C: too expensive. Several times I found a lamp I liked sitting by itself only to be told that it was part of a really expensive 3-5 lamp set that couldn't be sold seperately. (jerks) I finally found a liveable one with an urn shaped base and  and a fancy almost rectangular shaped shade, that seems to go well with the sage green and gold colors most of my living room consits of. This of course wasn't my first choice of colors when decorating, but one cant turn down a free mint condition vintage 50's sofa, even if it matches nothing. Maybe I should give away the rocker recliner in the living room and replace it with the gold crushed velvet rocking chair out of my bedroom. I have a feeling they will match rather well.

     But anyway, back to shopping with Dad…

     After finding my lamps,  I wanted to browse the store for a few other odds and ends. (Big Lots is so good for that) Dad in his never-changing, I'm retired but in a hurry mode, began immediately trying to push me toward the checkout. If you listen to him talk, I had just bought lamps, but light bulbs could wait until another day, and weren't necessary at that moment, especially the frosted ones that go on my vanity in the bathroom, which he would never have dreamed of paying a dollar apiece for. Um, whatever dad…

     I did in the aisles in between the light bulbs and the front counter, happen to find the cutest sunflower shaped picture frames, choosing the beige, cream, and copper colored ones over the yellow, as they were so much prettier. I do want to go back out and buy more of these if I get a chance before they are out of them. (Eventually I must photograph them, they are simply gorgeous) Amidst much prodding I finally did make it through the line, and much to Dad's dismay on to the next store.

     I so love the Goodwill store on route 95 here in town. This is where the better quality donated items go to be sold. Walking in it looks just like a regular department store. Everything is neat and well organized, and I almost always can find real nice name brand stuff in there dirt cheap, and barely used. I got my daughter 3 designer outfits in there and myself a pair of new black sandals for under $20. those who feel they are too good to shop at Goodwill are really missing out!

     From there is was on to the grocery store, Dad griping all the way. See, he does the shopping for my parents and grandparents, so we end up at "his" store. He immediately starts griping to me in the parking lot about how I need to make up my mind about everything I need to get so we can just get in and out of there. I thought his eyes were going to roll back into his head when I spotted the pattern of stoneware dishes I have had my eye on for almost 2 years, on sale almost half off. (To someone still using yard sale dishes, this is a big deal Dad) So I spent $20 on four full size dinner plates, and matching cereal bowls. My bills are paid, and I am well within my budget, so when he starts griping I just tell him to hush. I will keep collecting further pieces of the set bit by bit, hehe such a beautiful grape pattern. It is a bit more of a challenge finding plastic tumbler cups to coordinate, and they still don't quite match…everything seems very bright colored this year for some reason. I finally settled on four 16oz cups in bright green.

     The rest of the grocery shopping went pretty much as expected, Dad telling me he thought I needed this, or didn't need that. He then begins loading down my cart with things HE wants, such as guinea pig food. He starts asking me why I'm buying sets of dishes when he thinks getting disposable would be so much cheaper for now…um, wah huh? Somehow through all of this my head does not explode, and we finally make it back to my house.

     Putting everything away is no less of an adventure, welcome to the dad school of organizing. It may be my kitchen, but things must go where HE thinks they should go, or he will in no uncertain terms tell you your way is wrong. Rest assured, he believes you move at the pace of a constipated snail, because he is in a hurry to leave, so leave…but no he would rather continue to stand there complaining. I am not keeping you captive Dad…go…go…