He called here again a little bit ago. Apparently the phone company made a mistake and my number isn't unlisted like it's supposed to be.I've been sitting here trying to calm myself down enought to write this ever since.

Why does he think he needs to just call and make small talk with me after all hes done? What is it he wants from me? I don't have the strength to just do what I should do and tell him off. I really hate myself for that at times.

Now that I've had myself a good long cry mid-post, I still don't know what to do. Someday maybe I'll be alright…just keep praying and telling myself that. It's just really hard to believe sometimes.